BrandSnark: Good Week/Bad Week for the Big Brands

Sweet Week: Tate’s Bake Shop Mondelez – owner of Oreo, Wheat Thins, Chips Ahoy and Ritz brands – announced plans to purchase Tate’s (famous for their gourmet cookies) for $500M. The company’s CEO heralded the acquisition, saying it establishes Mondelez as a player in the “fast-growing premium cookie segment.” Those of us addicted to Tate’s crispy-thin goodness will merely continue to be “fast-growing.”

Caffeinated Week: Nestle – The Switzerland-based food giant has agreed to pay $7.2B for the rights to sell and distribute Starbucks’ packaged coffees and teas around the world. The agreement – still pending regulatory approval – covers Starbucks’ packaged goods sold outside of that company’s U.S. stores and will send 500 Starbucks’ employees over to Nestle. The agreement won’t improve the chances that your name is spelled correctly after your next agonizingly long wait for that cardamom-infused triple-latte frappiato.

Big Future Week: Uber The beleaguered ride-hailing leader finally finds itself on the right side of this column, announcing that it signed an agreement with NASA to “explore concepts and technologies related to passenger and cargo air transportation within urban areas.” In other words, “flying cars”… and Uber released a new prototype vehicle that looks like the airborne love child of a Cessna and a VW bug.